


I’ll have what he’s having

by Soupsoupzounds



Category: Marvel
Genre: Clint Barton Is a Good Bro, Gen, Peter Parker & Avengers Team - Freeform, Peter Parker and Ant-Man, Peter is a Little Shit, Post-Ant-Man and the Wasp (2018), Precious Peter Parker, Sam Wilson Is a Good Bro, Scott Lang is a Good Bro
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-15
Updated: 2019-06-19
Packaged: 2020-05-12 13:27:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19230043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Soupsoupzounds/pseuds/Soupsoupzounds
Summary: Scott and Peter get into shenanigans, Scott puts ideas in Peter’s head.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first work, so please be kind, although constructive criticism is accepted!  
> (This is inspired from tumblr, sorry I don’t remember the specific posts.)  
> I own nothing.  
> Enjoy!

Peter Parker was groggily standing up. It was one in the morning, and somebody was banging at his door. Peter tried to make it to the door quickly so that May didn’t wake up.

When he opened it, he was met with the enraged face of Scott Lang, whose fist was still raised. 

“Scott?” Peter croaked. “What the-“

“A spider ate Antwanette.”

Peter blinked. “What?”

“A fucking SPIDER ATE ANTWANETTE!”

Peter stood in his baggy pajamas and reached up to rub his eyes.

“I was gonna take her for a ride on the town, catch the ocean breeze maybe, but I called and she wouldn’t come! I had some other ants tell me what they saw!”

Scott was practically vibrating.

“Why are you at my door?”

“A SPIDER ate her. You’re fucking Spider-Man.”

Peter blinked again. “Dude- Scott, I don’t have control over spiders. That’s not-”

“But aren’t you ashamed?”

“Wh-“

“Or even just a little distraught?”

“I’m about to close this door on you.”

“Peter,” Scott enunciated, his facial expression shifting to one of desperation. “Antwanette.”

“Yes.”

“She was eaten.”

“I’m sorry for your loss.”

“And she had just met Sam the other day-“

“Would you be mad if I told you I don’t care?”

Scott turned away and held his hands out in exasperation as he began walking away. “Fucking teenagers.”

“Wasn’t my fault, Scott!”

“Fucking mutants.”

“It’s one on the morning! I have an AP World History test tomorrow!”

Scott was a good way down the street when Peter shut his door. He slid down the wooden paneling, incapacitated with laughter. 

***

A distance away, Scott was now ant-sized, and watching a gutter flood as it began to rain. He sat under a rotting leaf, sheltered from the threat of rain. A head nudged his arm, and Scott scratched the creature behind its antennae. 

“Hey, Antonio. At least you can appreciate the gravity of tragedies such as these.”

Scott’s minuscule phone suddenly buzzed, and he opened it up to check. He had two unread texts.

Peter: Scott just woke me up to inform me that Antwanette’s death was my fault.

Sam: Dude, it was an ant.

In response, Scott began furiously texting back. 

Scott: And what if a pigeon you knew suddenly dropped dead? What then, Sam? How would you react if I told you it was ‘just a pigeon?’

Scott waited for a reply. 

Sam: Motherfucker. I have no relation to the wild life of New York. You’re thinking of T’challa.

T’challa: For the last time, there is not a single stray cat anywhere on this planet that I have anything to do with.

Peter: Dude, there’s no need to be embarrassed. At least you don’t use telepathy with ants.

Sam: Yeah, we can all take solace in the knowledge that we’re all better than Scott. 

...

Scott: I’m in mourning. You have no respect. I bid you all goodnight.

Sam: Jfc 

********

It was now the weekend, and Peter sat on the edge of a tall skyscraper, his feet dangling over the edge. His mask was pushed up to his nose, and he crumpled a sandwich bag and stuffed it in his pocket. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. 

He felt a light buzzing at the base of his neck, his spider sense alerting him to something approaching. 

He turned to see nothing, but upon squinting at the air, saw a small bug approaching with something on its back.

“Damn it-“

Scott suddenly appeared before Peter. “Thanks, Antony.” He looked Peter in the eye and cleared his throat. “I’ve been thinking.”

Peter arched an eyebrow.

“You said you have no control over spiders. How lame is that, right?”

Peter grinned. 

“And we’re not trying to mutate you even more and I don’t know how we’d make spiders suddenly obey you outside of that, so my idea: we don’t use real spiders.”

“I’m interested.”

“Nanotech, right? Stark can make drones for you! Bots! And then he can modify Karen to control them like Jarvis did the Iron Man suits that one time...”

“Bruce told you about that, too?”

“He tells anyone he’s aloud to, I think he likes to prove to Tony that he was actually listening.”

“Yeah, according to Mr. Stark he only stayed awake the third time he heard it.”

“Ha. Anyways, what do you think?”

Peter ripped off his mask to reveal raised eyebrows. “You have to ask?”

*******

Peter walked lightly into Tony’s lab, Scott carefully hidden on his shoulder. 

“Hey, Mr. Stark. What would you think about adding something to my suit?”

Tony spun in his chair to face Peter. His glasses were perched on his nose carefully, and through the lenses Peter saw a suspicious expression. “Why do you need to ask, Pete?”

“Oh, I was thinking about something specific... it might be cool to have a bunch of spider-drones that Karen could control to do my bidding... ya know, I think it’d be a pretty casual update...”

“You’re trash at this,” Scott muttered in Peter’s ear. 

“I’d like to see you try it,” Peter mumbled.

He looked at Tony, who had an amused expression on his face. The man snorted. “You know I can see Scott on your shoulder, right?”

Peter pouted. “Okay, is that a yes?”

“Hmm. Let’s see. No.”

Peter gasped. “Why?!”

Tony grinned. “Fun fact: like half of the Avengers are afraid of spiders. In fact, last time I checked, you yourself weren’t so chummy with the real thing. Do you know the havoc you could cause with control over a bunch of spiders? Thor might piss himself, and I’m sure as hell not picking that up.”

Scott started laughing, and Peter flicked him off his shoulder, and Scott made himself grow as he flew. He crash-landed, full size, in a pile of spare parts, sending the pieces across the floor and making a huge mess.

“Scott!” Tony cried, standing.

“Not my fault!” The man protested, slowly sitting up.

“Then whose fault was it?” Tony watched, exasperated, as Peter and Scott both pointed at each other. 

“What’s going-“ Sam walked in, glancing up from an StarkPad. He looked from Peter to Scott, and raised his hands in a surrender. He turned around, walking back out. “Nope. Count me out.”

Tony snickered. 

“It was all Scott’s idea,” Peter protested. “Karen probably recorded it.”

Tony collapsed back in his chair, only laughing harder.

******


	2. Nobody can confirm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scott gets Peter to do something dumb again. Fun and people aren’t dead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hai. This is a second chapter that I didn’t think I’d make, but I did so whatever.
> 
> *hi*- Sam Wilson being Captain America is referenced once so here’s clarification: 
> 
> We’re post-endgame, but in this universe Tony is alive, Nat is alive, Gamora, Vision, Loki, etc. are all alive. Steve retired from Captain America without going back to the past, and is at his normal age. He’s retired with Bucky, Sam is the new Captain America, yay!!

Peter shifted uncomfortably on the rooftop of a building in upstate New York. Scott stood in front of him, holding out a small chip.

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Peter asked.

Scott rolled his eyes. “Of course!”

“Didn’t you say these things had never been used on people before?”

“O-okay, sure, but it’s the same technology that makes me small! It’s safe!” 

“Yeah, but you’re weird,” Peter muttered.

Scott was offering Peter a small chip prototype that Hank Pym had developed. After it was activated, the chip would immediately shrink the object it was touching. Scott had small devices that would do the opposite in his back pocket, to make Peter large again. 

“I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that,” said Scott. The man waved the chip at Peter.

Peter hesitated a moment, but reached out to grab the device. He suddenly shrunk.

The vigilante wobbled for a a second or two. “Whoa, this is weird.”

“Ok,” Scott said cheerfully, now holding a remote-controlled drone out to Peter. “Climb on!”

Peter situated himself on the cheap metal of the drone. “And you’re positive you know how to pilot this.”

Scott rolled his eyes again. “Peter, I was on house arrest for two years. I didn’t just do nothing the whole time. Yeah, I know how to pilot a drone.”

“Okay, if you’re sure. So, you’re just going to fly me around a little bit, right? Not too far?”

Scott shrugged. “Sure. Okay, here we go!” And he grabbed the controller and thrust the joystick forwards.

“Wait wait wait wait wAIT-“ Peter was suddenly flying, the miniature drone keeping him in the air. “Shit, shit, stop!”

“You’re fine!” Scott cheered.

Peter looked down at the dizzying fall. He’d been much higher than this before, but it seemed much more intimidating when he didn’t have his web shooters, was tiny, and had no control over the drone. He was really putting a lot of faith in Scott. He breathed deeply. “I got this, I got this. Come on, Spider-Man, you got this.” He slowly opened his eyes and fixed them on the skyline. His breathing was returning to normal. “You know,” he said after a moment. “This isn’t half bad.” The air whipped by him, but he used his powers to stick resolutely to the drone, and the air going by him was refreshing. 

“Told you!” Came Scott’s reply in his ear. Oops. He’d forgotten he was wearing coms. 

He knew what was coming, it was just common sense what Scott would do. So he preemptively gripped tighter and steadied himself. He’d only got about the length of the building so far, but suddenly his speed increased dramatically, and he started diving through the air. “Whoooo!” Peter yelled. It was actually much better than he’d thought it would be. Still, he hoped Scott and Clint never teamed up for something like this. Peter shivered at the terrifying thought.

Peter zipped past windows, the wind hitting his face. He climbed and swooped in the air, going up and down with no way to tell which way he’d go. He was holding on with a death grip.

“Scott!” He yelled. “Communicate!”

“Ok, sure!” Came the reply. “What do you think of it? It’s probably what riding an ant is like! You like it?”

“You bastard, that’s not what I meant and you know it!”

Peter’s voice rose in pitch as he fell into a shriek. Scott piloted him around the open sky. He dipped around buildings and breathed in the fresh air. Upstate was so much different than the inner city, and while Peter would always prefer his home, occasionally a change in pace was nice. He suddenly fell fast, and then zoomed back upwards at the last second, brushing the tips of blades of grass. “Shit!” Peter yelped. “Too close, Scott!”

“You ready for the next step?” Came Scott’s reply.

“What? No! This is it, you can take me back!”

“Cool! Here we go!”

Oh, dear. Scott was going rogue. Peter suddenly began zipping off towards the skyline. He knew this needed to stop. He carefully edged closer to the center of the drone. With his super strength, he began trying to rip the cover off of the drone’s wiring. He looked up for half a second, and realized where he was headed.

“Scott! You- piece of shit!” 

“Don’t worry! This is the best way to get really used to it; I would know!”

As the Avengers Compound appeared on the edge of the sky, the drone picked up more and more speed. Peter finally ripped away the cover for the wiring. He had to disrupt Scott’s control. 

The man in question piloted Peter towards the Compound. Peter winced as they flew past the high-tech security gate. He knew he must have been detected at this point. He was small, sure, but Mr. Stark’s tech was good, and he knew it.

Suddenly the drone shifted, and it was on it’s side, still midair, so that Peter was hanging off of it. The drone approached a security camera, and buzzed around it for a span of a couple of seconds. Peter was hanging off of the far side, so that the camera couldn’t possibly see him. 

“Scott! What are you doing?” Peter hissed. 

“Gotta make sure they see us!” Came the staticky reply. “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of it!” Not if Peter had any say, he wouldn’t.

As the drone buzzed away to the garden of the Compound, it flipped upright again. Peter regained his balance and began working again on the wires.

Suddenly his spider sense buzzed lightly at the base of his neck. He looked up and saw Sam, wing suit and shield both strapped to his back, exiting the Compound via the large balcony. A huge glass wall partitioned it from the inside, and Peter could barely make out a living area inside. Glass guard rails went around the edge of the balcony. Sam’s wing’s extended and he began flying around the garden. Peter could tell he was looking for something. 

“Tic-Tac?” The man called. “That you? ‘Cause if it’s not, I’m blasting whatever’s here to pieces. Now’s the time to talk.”

Scott remained silent in Peter’s ear as he piloted the drone towards Sam. Peter nearly jumped off, but he knew he would never get back to Scott to get big again if he did. He might also bet eaten by a bug, or stepped on. The drone flaunted itself, flying back and forth in front of Sam, and the man watched the drone before it darted away again.

“Damn you, Scott,” Peter said, still messing with wires. 

With his super hearing, he heard Sam say, “Okay, not Tic-Tac.” Peter watched Sam begin to fly for the drone. Suddenly, the device stopped in midair as Peter pulled out a wire, terminating Scott’s control.

“Yes!” He cried. Then the drone began to plummet. “Shit!”

“Peter!” He heard Scott in his ear. “What did you do?” 

The vigilante fumbled for control, and as he tugged at wires, the drone slowly rightened. Peter jerkily brought the drone upright in the air, just avoiding Sam as the superhero dived. Peter’s control was limited and slow, and definitely not as smooth as Scott’s had been. The teen turned the drone to face from where he’d come, and made the device begin to speed back to where it had started it’s journey. Sam straightened behind Peter and locked his eyes on the target. The chase was on. 

Peter kept the drone ramming ahead as fast as it could go, but even so, Sam was quickly gaining. The journey back to the rooftop Scott and Peter had started on was farther than Peter would have liked. He couldn’t even see it on the horizon yet, and as his spider sense tingled, he brought the drone into a steep dive. It brushed against the grass, but instead of pulling upwards like Scott had had it do, Peter kept it flying straight through the untamed weeds. They were now way past the Compound’s perimeter, but Sam kept chasing. He flew above Peter by a few feet, trying to get a clear shot at the drone as it weaved through dandelions and crabgrass. The base of Peter’s neck suddenly tingled, and he hung a sharp right and began an ascent just as Sam’s arm was extending.

“Damn it,” Peter heard Sam mutter.

Peter kept flying, occasionally making sharp turns or dives to avoid Sam. He was all to aware of the man’s growing frustration as the winged hero was unable to catch the drone. This was thanks to Peter’s spider sense, but the young vigilante wasn’t about to stop avoiding capture. 

Eventually, the rooftop where Scott waited anxiously came into view.

“Peter, is that you?” Said Scott through the coms. “On the horizon? Did you- fucking shit! You brought the Sam?”

“First of all,” Peter said aggressively as he weaved beyond Sam’s outstretched arms. “I’m pretty sure I hate you now. And secondly, it’s not exactly like I invited him.”

“Damn you, Peter, I had it under control!”

“Well, not under enough control for my tastes!”

Peter brought the drone to an uncertain landing on the rooftop, and jumped off of it just as Sam snatched it up. The winged superhero stood and found himself face to face with Scott holding the drone’s controller.

Peter, still tiny, scrambled off to the side.

Scott abruptly turned away from Sam. “You’ll have to excuse me for just a moment while I consult my colleague.”

Sam watched in absolute bewilderment as Scott walked over to a tiny Peter with an evil eye. “There you are, Pete,” Scott said loudly. “The one and only Peter Parker, that is!” He brought another chip out of his back pocket, this one an enlarging device. He scooped Peter up into his palm and touched to chip to the teen.

Suddenly, both Scott and Peter, full-sized, stood in front of Sam. Neither looked particularly ashamed, both actually looked rather pissed.

“Ah, there you are, good friend,” Scott enunciated. “Is that what you call a person who doesn’t trust you or stick to the plan?”

“I have no problem sticking to things, Scott,” Peter retorted. As if to proof his point, he out his hand and stuck his palm onto Scott’s face, effectively slapping him. “I was bitten by a radioactive spider, you see. My real issue,” Peter continued as Scott struggled to no avail to remove the hand from his face. “is that my friends keep betraying my trust, and sending me into places where superheroes will kill me.”

“Okay, it was perfectly safe,” said Scott from around Peter’s hand as the vigilante finally pulled away. “I had that situation under control until you undermined me.”

“Listen here, Bugboy-“

“Bugboy? I’ll have you know you are also themed after an insect!”

“Spiders are arachnids! Not-“

“Guys!” Sam yelled. Both Scott and Peter turned away from each other to stare at him. “You’re both dipshits, quarrel concluded. The real issue is that I was playing Mario-Kart with Clint when I was so rudely interrupted for this shit, and I was damn near close to winning, too. We all know he didn’t pause the game to wait for me, so let’s think about how that game must’ve ended.”

Sam leered down at Scott and Peter in a manner that he thought was pretty threatening, but the silence was shattered the next second when both bug-themed-heroes broke away laughing. Scott backed away and hunched over himself, grabbing his stomach as he laughed, and Peter rubbed his eyes with his fists as he chuckled gleefully. Sam stared in utter confusion until Peter said, “Oh, Sam, it really kills me that you think you had any chance at beating Clint in Mario-Kart.”

Scott added on joyfully, “You’re a riot, you know that?”

Sam then pushed him off the roof.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This could be the last chapter, could be not the last chapter. It depends.

**Author's Note:**

> That’s it! Hope you enjoyed!


End file.
